Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Emixalot on Karaoke etiquette

Exhibit B: Eminem, well sorta
Good Idea: Rapping, even though you are white, and working hard to get the crowd into the flow you are spittin' Actually that may not even be a good idea

Bad Idea: Watch 8 Mile 7,456 times because you really think you are rap's Great White Hope and then trying to bring a Freestyle battle to the stage.

...guess which one Wayne "Actually I think I am Eminem" Toolbag chose...

It's Monday night...not a typical night for the Krew, well in fact it still wasn't a night for the Krew. The King just felt he had to check on his loyal subjects for an hour -- RIGHT. That hour turned into a 2am romp, but luckily for all of you K-Krew patrons I went and stayed because now I have a story.

You hear it and you don't believe it (however it is pictured above so you have to), "9-7-9 let me hear where you at. You aggies is cool, but I am a Thundercat." Hailing from HOT-Lanta, Wayne...picks out a song, mostly just Eminem, and then Freestyles on the mic for the duration of the song...Spreading his great white skillz. To be honest he wasn't too bad at the flowing, but then it got bad -- well, actually, it never started out good -- so then it got worse.

After hearing me spit, Ice Ice baby, he challenges me to a Freestyle Battle. BRING IT Except he was already offending two races, I didn't think me battling him would help any. So I chose to make fun of him. I pick up a mic, I pretend to be scratching records and yell, "Everybody from the 313, put your mothaflippin hands up and follow me...Everybody from the 313, put your mothaflippin hands up...Wikki-wikki-wikki!" (another 8mile reference, if you haven't seen this movie, get on it...these jokes are alot funnier that way.)

So my Hot, white, dred-less Future begs me to stop between her laughing because she fears I am only encouraging SNOW. So I do, but the wise guy challenges, Kid Rock's Skinnier, white-trashier, smaller, little brother to a Battle. They battle it out and Kid Rock's little brother pulls a Chris Rock, and drops the mic. I thought Caylin was going to kill him. But she had other guys to kill that night, so she let that one slide. She just took Lil' Wayne off the list.

On that note...Here are a few mic etiquette rules.
1. No dropping the mic, for dramatic effect, it really wasn't all that cool anyways.
2. If you are gonna wear 9lbs. of lipstick, leave it on your lips, not the mic.
3. And if you must scream (you are on a mic so there is really no reason, but whatever) don't hock up everything you have eaten that day into it, other people use them. Well not anymore, we had to replace the mics, due to drunk incompetence and a certain person, named after my favorite Pool Game.

The moral of the story, children, is this: it is bad karaoke etiquette to freestyle when you are white. Don't do it. Unless, of course, you like being laughed at by everyone within mic range of your off-beat cracker rapping.


Anonymous kln said...

..."Caylin was going to kill him..." yeah, thats an understatement. i really wish i could have kicked everyone out last night, then we wouldnt have to replace half the equipment...i think someone pissed in my cheerios before work

3:46 PM  
Blogger KaraokeKing said...

she promised me she liked her cheerios that way.

5:55 PM  

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