Thursday, July 21, 2005

Emixalot v. Niblett: the Great Karaoke Klash

War of the Worlds?
"Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind." ~John F. Kennedy, 1961

Pictured here is General Emixalot of the Karaoke Krew and Field Marshall Niblett of the KNDE-95 Army. These two men have fought a brutal campaign for supremecy for more than two weeks. But last night, all the tension rose to the boiling point, only to end with -- what else? -- a BJ and shots.

The tale of this Cool War begins weeks ago when FM Niblett called out the King over an amazing rendition of "Slow Jamz" with White ChizzyChocolate. (If you don't know the story, go here to catch up with the rest of the world)

After FM Niblett's extreme attempt to humiliate the King publicly and an open declaration of war, the King responded in grand fashion -- with a custom t-shirt. "How else do you show someone you mean business?" the King said. The Timberlake Wannabe shirt was received with enthusiasm by his subjects and resulted in screams of "Niblett Who?!"

The opposing armies entered into brief skirmishes in the following weeks, the most notable led the Hot, white, dred-less, Future to ask, "Why do you [Niblett] want to be like Emixalot so bad?"

But last night changed the world.

According to reports, Emixalot took the stage to perform "Ice Ice Baby" -- in a way no other mere mortal can do -- when an annoying, familiar voice calls from behind him, "Tuck in the front and grab your belt!" Taking the insult as a challenge, the King does so and responds, "Hey Niblett! Blow me!" This fiery rhetoric spurred the Field Marshall to jump onto stage and act like he was -- in fact -- performing fellatio on the King (this may have been a dream come true for Niblett, but we'll leave that for historians to debate).

After the song, Niblett and The King went to Babershots for pre-war talks, hoping to avert the impending war that would soon embroil the two warring camps. FM Niblett offered up a Pink Panther to assuage any disrespect he may have caused through the psy-ops waged on his radio program. Through this simple display of respect and a toast to the Front Tuck, the War of the Worlds was averted before a drop of beer was spilled.

Now in the post-war era, experts expect the occasional jab or snide comment made at the other's expence (I mean, the pair's first exchange after treaty talks closed were, "Niblett, the only guy who still wears denim shorts, make your way to the stage;" to which Niblett replied, "My mom thinks I am cool;" to which the King responded," Your mom thinks I am cool too!")

Closing Thought from the King: Don't try to out-do me, Niblett. We may have a truce, but on my turf, the King will always win.

P.S.: Adam Knight, the 3pm-6pm DJ -- who one would have expected to come down (hehe) on the KNDE 95 side of the Battle of the Front Tuck -- made sure the King knew he never said a word about me on air. (Sounds like someone wants to give a BJ...)


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